whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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