dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
