i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
