that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
