It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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