He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
