Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
