She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Less talking, more tequila
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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