we're chasing vodka with high fives
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
