I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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