is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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