Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
