is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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