She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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