In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
