If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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