i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
