only if we run a train.
done.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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