at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
