we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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