Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
