oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
