Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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