im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
