so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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