When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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