this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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