i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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