Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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