Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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