You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
