She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
do nipples grow back?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
