i don't plan on having that self control this summer
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
