So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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