i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
