and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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