all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
