I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
