The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
