i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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