it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
