I feel like I'm in dance class right now
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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