I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
