his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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