If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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