around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
