I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
