3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
