Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Quick, to the slutcave!
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
