Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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