my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
